Let’s be honest: Sometimes it’s tough to tell if your date’s just being
nice or if she’s really into you. So if you need help sussing out your
lady love’s true feelings, check out these pointers from Greg Hartley,
former Army Special Forces interrogator and author of I Can Read You Like a Book: How to Spot the Messages and Emotions People Are Really Sending With Their Body Language.
Who knew your date’s smile, complexion and even where she places her
handbag can reveal whether she considers you friend or boyfriend
material? Read on!


Five signs your date is into you…


1. She tilts her head
“When a woman sees and feels especially comfortable with a man, she will
tilt her head,” Hartley says. A tilt in any direction — right, left or
down — are all signs that she’s interested in getting to know you better
— say, over another date.


2. She takes a sip when you take a sip
When a woman is drawn to a guy, she’ll instinctively mirror his actions,
Hartley says. While men do this, too, women are more likely than men to
first begin the copying. What should you look for? “You might notice
she will shift her body in the same direction as yours or take your lead
for behavioral changes like, picking up a glass to drink or blinking
her eyes repeatedly if you’re doing so,” he suggests. If you want to
test her, lean forward and see if she comes closer, too.


3. She twirls her hair
Since the beginning of time, a woman’s hair has been celebrated as a
symbol of her beauty and power. And it’s true today, says Hartley: If
your date begins twirling or playing with her hair while talking to you,
it is a good sign she’s into you and subconsciously trying to attract
you.

4. She gets a glow
While blushing often means embarrassment, don’t assume that her rosy
cheeks are an indication of discomfort. When a woman is attracted to
someone, blood flows to her face, causing her cheeks to get redder,
Hartley explains. And if your date is smitten, he adds, her lips and
even eyelids will get fuller, too.


5. Her pupils dilate
While your gaze is fixed on her, pay particular attention to her pupils,
advises Hartley. “When a woman is attracted to a man, her pupils will
dilate,” he notes. “Essentially, the body does this in order to allow
itself to take in more of a good thing.”


…and five signs your date is not into you


1. She crosses her arms
Did she assume the angry librarian stance? “When a woman on a date
places her hands in front of her body — especially if they are crossed —
she is closing herself off from the man,” Hartley notes. If you get
this red flag, you don’t stand a chance… and she wants you to know it.
“Men are not nearly as perceptive as women, so even if she’s not
consciously aware of it, a woman knows her body language needs to be
very loud,” Hartley explains. “In this instance, that body language
reads loud and clear.”


2. She places her bag between you two
“When I ask male friends how a blind date went, step-by-step, and they
say‘she put her bag on the table,’ I always know that’s a bad sign,”
Hartley says. If your date places her purse — a real and physical
barrier — between the two of you, she’s showing she wants to create
distance, he says. Not a good sign.


3. She speaks faster than an auctioneer
So she seems to love talking to you? Before you start celebrating, note
the speed of her small talk. “Romantic conversation does not occur at
the same speed as business conversation,” Hartley says. “Conversation
between two people who are attracted typically slows to about
three-quarter speed and softens in tone. In fact, most emotional
conversation — with the exception of when it is very hostile — is at a
slowed cadence.” That said, she may be nervous early in your first date,
and her nerves can cause her to spit her sentences out in rapid-fire
succession. But if by the end of the evening she’s still going at a
rapid rate, consider it a clue that she just wants to be friends at
best.


4. She offers you a chin-up smile
Though it’s tempting to interpret any old smile as a sign of interest,
all smiles are not created equal. Smiles can say a lot: “I’m polite,”
“I’m crazy about you,” and, believe it or not, “I can’t stand you.” The
secret to decoding what her smile really means? It’s all in the chin
placement. A woman who gives you a relaxed, chin-down “soft smile” is
smitten and wants you to dig her back, Hartley explains. A full-on
toothpaste grin or stiff and polite smile — both of which generally
involve the chin raised up — mean either, “I like you as a friend” or “I
wanna get out of here!”


5. She strokes her neck
If your date’s telling you she agrees that you should get together
again, that’s a good sign, right? Maybe, says Hartley. “Her body
language may be the key to the real truth,” he says. “If a woman is
gently stroking her neck when telling you this, it may be a sign that
she’s interested, but it is also known to be a sign of lying.” To figure
out which message she’s sending, consider the aforementioned “she’s not
into you” signals. If she’s also giving you the raised-chin smile and
speaking to you over a giant purse, you may want to move on to your next
prospect.


Chelsea Kaplan is deputy editor of www.thefamilygroove.com and regularly appears as a guest on XM Radio’s “Broad Minded.” Her blog, “I’m Somebody’s Mother?” can be found at www.chelseakaplan.com. For the other side of this story, read 5 signs he’s into you.

Tags: Dating tips & Advice

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