Having trouble figuring out your guy’s level of interest in you?
Sometimes, the proof is in his body language. To understand what your
honey’s movement, eye contact and even posture reveal about his true
feelings for you, check out these hints from Greg Hartley, former Army
Special Forces interrogator and author of I Can Read You Like a Book: How to Spot the Messages and Emotions People Are Really Sending With Their Body Language.

Five signs your date is into you…

1. He closes the distance
“First and foremost, moving in closer indicates a desire for more
intimate contact,” Hartley says. So if a guy you’re talking to at a
party inches a little closer as you talk, or your date slides into the
same side of the booth as you, you know he wants to get to know you
better — and not as a friend.

2. He speaks softly
When a man talks in a quieter voice, it’s an excellent sign, Hartley
explains. “He’s indicating that what he’s saying is for your ears only,”
he says. “If he’s telling you something private or secret, it’s a good
thing — guys don’t do that to women they’re not into.” If you want to
let that soft-talker know you feel the same way, respond in kind, which
should quickly turn those sparks into an all-out fire. Caveat: If you’re
in a loud club or restaurant where you have to shout to be heard, you
can’t tell anything by his decibel level. So wait until you’re walking
or driving home to see whether he’s turned the volume down.

3. He rounds his posture
Hypermasculine body language (think: swaggering walk, standing tall with
shoulders back and chin up, etc.) serves to attract women from a
distance. But when a guy is talking close-up with a woman he likes, he
will soften, or “round” his body language, Hartley notes. If your guy’s
squared shoulders cave in when he’s chatting with you, he’s indicating
that he feels comfortable and secure in your presence.

4. He talks slowwwly
Like birds in a mating dance, men typically talk more slowly and softly
when they are attracted to someone, Hartley explains. Of course, if he
knocked back a few gigante lattes on a first date, he may be too wired
(and nervous) to sound like Barry White, but give it time: if his speech
starts to make you feel sleepy, he’s a goner.

5. He can’t take his eyes off you (in a good way)
So his eyes are locked on yours? As long as it isn’t a psycho stare, but
rather a lingering, heavy-lidded, “Wow, you’re amazing” gaze, that guy
is digging you big-time, Harley says.

…and 5 signs your date isn’t into you

1. He’s four feet away
If his motto may as well be The Police’s “Don’t Stand So Close to Me”,
he’s not feelin’ you romantically, Hartley says. How do you define such a
distance? “If he remains four feet or more away from you, it is a clear
signal that his heart’s not in it,” says Hartley.

2. He stands at an oblique angle facing you
“Most men do not realize that when talking to another man, we stand at
oblique angles, with one shoulder facing the other’s face, yet when we
talk to women — especially ones we’re interested in romantically — we
stand face-to-face with them,” Hartley says. If your guy’s shoulder is
pointing in the direction of your face during conversation, he’s
subconsciously showing disinterest or is trying to turn you off, Hartley

3. He sounds like that guy in accounting
If your date is talking to you like you’re someone at the office —
meaning, the pace is quick and the level of his voice is rather strong —
“he’s probably just trying to keep it on a friendship level,” Hartley
says. With time, you might notice a change — after all, he just might
want to keep it “professional” on the first date or two while he gets to
know you — but if it remains this way after a few dates, cut your

4. He stares at your mouth
When a guy focuses on your lips, what he’s really trying to do is avoid
eye contact, Hartley explains. “If he’s avoiding eye contact, you can
pretty safely assume he’s not into you,” he asserts. If your date fixes
his gaze below your face, he’s probably interested in you, but perhaps
not for a long-term relationship, if you know what we mean…

5. He’s out of sync with your body language
When a guy is romantically interested in you, he will mimic your body
language, so if he doesn’t copy you gesture for gesture, odds are he
isn’t smitten, Hartley says. To test the waters, try leaning in closer
to your date, using your hands to emphasize what you’re saying. If your
guy does the same, it’s a great sign. But if he keeps his hands still,
pulls away or takes a step backwards, he may be unavailable or just
plain not interested.

Chelsea Kaplan is deputy editor of www.thefamilygroove.com and regularly appears as a guest on XM Radio’s “Broad Minded.” Her blog, “I’m Somebody’s Mother?” can be found at www.chelseakaplan.com. For the other side of this story, read 5 signs she’s into you.

Tags: Dating tips & Advice

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